Driving Papaw Loveday
I sat down one afternoon poring over my list of standard, generic questions, trying to determine why they didn’t seem to be accomplishing my present research goal of finding out more about the Loveday family. The questions themselves looked fine, but it seemed that every time I asked those generic questions—the same ones that all of my genealogy books and newsletters recommended—I’d get generic responses, particularly from Papaw Loveday. “We got married April 11, 1936, at Atchley’s Funeral Home,” he told me the day I asked him about his wedding. I already knew, thanks to my mother-in-law, that he and Mamaw Loveday had “run off” and gotten married. But when I came back at Papaw with this tidbit of information, Papaw’s response was simply, “We didn’t run.”“Out of the mouth of babes” may satisfy some people, but in the genealogical world, the best information comes not from the mouths of babes, but from the mouths of the very people who lived the history we study. People like Papaw. Still, sometimes family members just aren’t willing to give up the good stuff that adds color to the otherwise black-and-white information found on marriage licenses, death certificates, and census pages.I looked at my generic questions again and knew they weren’t right. I wanted to unlock the treasure chest containing all eighty-seven years of Papaw’s life. If the questions weren’t going to do it, I’d try a different approach.In lieu of strapping Papaw to a chair, shining bright lights in his eyes, and dripping water on his forehead until he gave up the family secrets, I decided to take Papaw for a drive. We went to the next county to visit Papaw’s niece, Dot, to look through her photo albums for pictures of our joint ancestors. Before the first page had even been turned, Dot and Papaw were talking about who was dead, who was alive, and who lived where.
Papaw: “There was one little old house that belonged to Elmer Burchfield.”
Dot: “After you pass Jones’s Chapel Church, the first house on the right, where Elmer lived?”
Papaw: “Right across the creek. Elmer had a farm and a house over there, too, and we lived in it. Then Elmer wanted to move in, so we took the little house down below Jones’s Chapel Church. I don’t remember how long we stayed there. Then we moved down to a house on Finchum’s place.”
The treasure chest crept open. Rather than seeing me as a strict taskmaster with whip in hand ready to strike if they didn’t reveal their secrets, Papaw and Dot had totally forgotten I was there. They dove right into information that would have taken me hours of research to find, if I had been able to find it at all.
I learned of three places Papaw lived without ever asking a question. I learned who was married, who was divorced, who was dead, and who was still living. I left Dot’s house with information that brought life to the static data I had found in census data and marriage licenses. But the lesson didn’t end there.
We took a roundabout way home, passing Walnut Grove Baptist Church. Even though there were just the two of us now, Papaw continued reminiscing. “I first met Mamaw on the steps of that church. I was standing on the porch and she asked me if I had seen Jim. I told her, ‘No, but you can call me Jim.’ ‘Okay,’ she told me, ‘come on.’ And we strolled out that gate and through the field.” It was a stroll that would continue through sixty-four years of marriage, five children, and numerous grandchildren and great grandchildren before Mamaw passed away in 2000.
I learned more than just the details of Papaw’s life that day—I learned a valuable lesson, too. Don’t discount the answers to your list of generic questions, but don’t let your research end there. Step away from the tried-and-true formulas and, instead, take your relatives for a drive. Take them to areas where they grew up. Take them to visit their brothers and sisters, cousins and aunts. Then sit back and listen. You’ll be amazed by the treasures you’ll find.
Tina McCarter lives in Knoxville, Tennessee. She became interested in genealogy while researching her husband’s family tree. In addition to genealogy, Tina is an avid quilter and a paralegal. She can be reached at tinamccarter@netzero.com.
Email This Post