Ancestry Magazine

Have you ever noticed that it’s often the cups and saucers that are missing in old sets of china? I have come to believe that there could be a message in those missing pieces. Maybe our ancestors who cherished these delicate cups understood something we haven’t quite figured out.

Our family’s china cup tradition began more than fifty years ago when I was a child, and my mom’s cousin would visit our house. Several times a year, cousin Vesta and her husband would spend one night at our home, then continue their travels the next morning. The one thing we all remembered about Vesta’s visits was her china cup. According to Vesta, morning coffee just wasn’t good unless it was sipped from a china cup. She always brought one with her so she could enjoy her morning routine.

My mom decided that if morning coffee was better from a china cup, then evening coffee should also be better from a china cup. She began inviting her evening guests to the living room for coffee served in her good china cups. Mom’s visitors always seemed to enjoy the practice so she continued it, and the seeds of the china cup tradition were planted.

When Mom grew older she came to live with my husband and me. Knowing that Mom loved beautiful cups, my husband purchased a lovely pedestal china cup for her in an antique shop. She was delighted with her new cup, and she considered it quite a treasure during the years she lived with us. Mom died at the age of ninety-three, but her special china cup maintains its place of honor in our home. When I see Mom’s cup, I remember the times when she and I sat together, sipping coffee from our china cups.

Mom’s tradition of serving coffee from the good china has become the accepted method of entertaining in my home. I have acquired a beautifully decorated, delicately thin set of Limoges cups and saucers and an elegant silver coffee service from which my husband and I serve our guests. It’s a pleasure to retire to the “parlor” for coffee and conversation, with a touch of soft music in the background, and enjoy a relaxing evening with good friends.

My daughter is the third generation of our family to uphold the china cup tradition. Her assortment of cups has grown over the years and is now almost as extensive as my own collection. When we visit each other, we enjoy our morning coffee together, sipping from our delicate china cups. With mostly milk and a little coffee, my granddaughter joins our tradition now. Soon, she will be ready for a china cup of her own. I cherish these times to relax and reminisce with my family; such opportunities are fleeting, and they simply don’t come often enough.

It’s never too late to establish your own china cup tradition. Find a favorite container, fill it with a pleasing brew, and invite a friend or family member to share it. The seeds will be planted. After several generations, descendants may again wonder why there are missing cups and saucers in the old set of china. If they look closely, they may discover memories of treasured times spent together in the china cup tradition.

I see the mystery of the missing cups and saucers as a metaphor for our own lives. Time spent together in the china cup tradition is much more important than the kind of cup that is used. A large, heavy mug could do just as well as a delicate china cup. The contents of the container are also of little significance. The one critical ingredient is the time that is whittled from our busy schedules so that we may sit, relax, and enjoy a few peaceful minutes in the day.

Perhaps the missing pieces of china are a reminder from our ancestors that we need to make time for others and for ourselves. If we don’t find time to spend with our family and loved ones, we will one day search for happy memories and we will realize that, like the elusive teacups and saucers of our grandparents’ time, these memories are nowhere to be found. We need to seek out opportunities to take a few moments with a cherished friend, a family member, or even by ourselves. These moments, scattered throughout our lives, help us to maintain our grasp on the important things t hat might otherwise slip through our fingers.

Treva Carol Tindol is a retired school counselor from Bowie, Texas. Along with her genealogy research, which led to a visit to her ancestral home in Scotland, she has authored poems, plays, and short stories.