Ancestry Magazine

Once you make contact with your distant relatives overseas, consider making a visit.

Genealogy is a powerful hobby. It has the power to connect people between generations, states, countries, even continents. Most importantly, it has the power to connect two people who are not even aware of each other and who are separated by thousands of miles, cultures, and languages.

As genealogists, we get so caught up in the research and the sources and the dat a that we sometimes forget just how powerful this hobby can be. This was made abundantly clear to us recently while we were working in southern California.

We were escorting a group of senior citizens on a bus trip from San Diego to the Getty Museum in Los Angeles. Our tour guide, Edwin Lohr, was reciting the usual rhetoric about the landscape, the water supply, the early settlement of California, etc., when one of the seniors asked him if he was a native of California. He responded that he was actually from the very small town of Lohrville, Iowa, which was named for his family.

Edwin went on to provide some interesting information about his family and how he had recently visited some distant relatives in New Zealand. We were very interested because he was talking about our favorite subject–the human side of genealogy. Upon reaching our destination, we decided to question Edwin further about his experience.

It soon became evident that his experience would have relevance for any researcher who, upon discovering previously unknown relatives, decides to step away from the research books, make contact, and ultimately to visit these relatives.

While he was growing up, Edwin always had a love for history and an interest in travel. Genealogy, however, was not a major interest. The annual family reunions focused on getting to know the living relatives, and there were plenty of those. Since the town was so small, and so many families were related, it was taken for granted that you knew the relevant family history information.

He remembers his mother telling him stories about her family. Her maiden name was Shay, but she told him that the name was originally Shave. Her grandfather Harry had changed the name after he left England for America. Harry had three brothers and four sisters. One brother remained in England. The remaining two brothers, along with the four sisters, migrated to New Zealand.

For Edwin, New Zealand seemed a very exotic place. But a seed had been planted that was to grow into a desire to connect with his New Zealand relatives.

Service in the U.S. military, followed by the usual responsibilities of adulthood, kept Edwin from pursuing his desire to visit New Zealand until he was in his mid-thirties. His mother had once given him the name and address of one of her second cousins in New Zealand. On a whim in the early 1990s, Edwin decided to write this individual and identify himself as the “American cousin.” This was the first step of a journey that would take him to places he had only dreamed of.

The cousin Edwin contacted was Raymond Shave of Christchurch, New Zealand. Raymond was very interested in genealogy and welcomed the chance to communicate with his American cousin. Raymond’s grandfather George (Shave) was a brother to Edwin’s great-grandfather Harry, the one who had gone to the United States and changed his family name to Shay. The two brothers had parted ways in the 1870s and there had been only limited contact between the families after that time. Edwin’s letter proved to be the spark that would reunite these geographically distant families.

During the 1990s, several other letters followed that first letter and the two exchanged family information. The two men developed a close friendship. To this day, Edwin has kept these letters and counts them among his most prized possessions.

It was twentieth-century technology, however, that moved the two in the direction of a visit. One of Raymond’s daughters had an e-mail address, and Edwin began communicating with Raymond through her. This increased the the entire New Zealand family’s interest because there were more people involved, all wondering about this American cousin.

Edwin became an topic of conversation at the Shaves’ family gatherings. It was only a matter of time before a formal invitation was extended to Edwin to visit the family in New Zealand. Thanks to modern technology and the convenience of e-mail, it took Edwin all of thirty seconds to accept the invitation.

Arrangements were made for his journey to take place in November 2001, but the tragic events of 11 September 2001 interrupted his plans and he rescheduled his visit for January 2002.

He now refers to his trip to New Zealand and his meeting with his distant family as an event that changed his life. While growing up in Iowa, he always knew that he was part of a family. He was secure and he knew that he belonged. But his experience in New Zealand gave him a greater sense, a broader sense–something he had not felt before. He now had a feeling of being connected to something even larger than he had known.

When we asked him if he had any regrets about his experience, Edwin replied, “I only wish I had done it sooner. It is such a pleasure having these people in my life.”

Edwin’s experiences have value for all of us. Listed below are some tips to help you plan for your meeting with a previously unknown relative.

Before You Go